In a new article published in UK Guardian today, award winning writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes for the first time about her struggle with depression. (And you thought you were the only one?) Read below...
Sometimes it begins with a pimple. A large shiny spot appears on my forehead. Or it begins with a feeling of heaviness, and I long to wear only loose-fitting clothes. Then my mood plunges, my lower back aches, my insides turn liquid. Stomach cramps come in spasms so painful I sometimes cry out. I lose interest in the things I care about. My family become unbearable, my friends become strangers with dark intentions, and cashiers and waiters seem unforgivably rude.

A furious, righteous paranoia shrouds me: every human being with whom I interact is wrong, either insensitive or ill-willed. I eat mounds of food – I crave greasy stews and fried yams and dense chocolate truffles – or I have no appetite at all, both unusual for a careful, picky eater. My breasts are swollen and taut. Because they hurt, I wear my softest bras – “tender” seems a wrong word for the sharp discomfort. Sometimes they horrify me, so suddenly round, as though from science fiction, and sometimes their round perkiness pleases my vanity. At night, I lie sleepless, drenched in strange sweat; I can touch the wetness on my skin.

I am sitting in a doctor’s office in Maryland and reciting these symptoms. On the wall of the bright room, there is a diagram of a lean female, her ovaries and uterus illustrated in curling lines; it reminds me of old pictures of Eve in the garden with Adam. The doctor is a kind and blunt woman, bespectacled, but reading over her lenses the forms I have filled out. When she first asks why I have come to see her, I say, “Because my family thinks I need help.” Her reply is, “You must agree with them or you wouldn’t be here.” Later, it will strike me that this is a quality I admire most in women: a blunt kindness, a kind bluntness.

When she asks questions, I embellish my answers with careful detail – the bigger-sized bra I wear for a few days, the old frost-bitten ice cream I eat because I will eat anything. I make sure to link everything to my monthly cycle, to repeat that I always feel better when my period starts. I make fun of my irritability: everyone I meet is annoying until I suddenly realise that I am the only constant and the problem has to be me! It is, I tell her, as though a strangeness swoops down on me every month, better on some and worse on others. Nothing I say is untrue. But there are things I leave out. I am silent about the other strangeness that comes when it will and flattens my soul.


“It sounds like you have premenstrual dysphoric disorder,” she says.
It is what I want to hear. I am grateful because she has given me a name I find tolerable, an explanation I can hide behind: my body is a vat of capricious hormones and I am at their mercy.
But the doctor is not done. Her eyes are still and certain as she says, “But the more important thing is that you have underlying depression.” She speaks quietly, and I feel the room hold its breath. She speaks as if she knows that I already know this.
In truth, I am sitting opposite her in this examining room because my family is worried about the days and weeks when I am, as they say, “not myself”. For a long time, I have told them that I just happen to have hormonal issues, victim to those incomplete tortures that Nature saves for femaleness. “It can’t be just hormonal,” they say. “It just can’t.” Mine is a family full of sensible scientists – a statistician father, an engineer brother, a doctor sister. I am the different one, the one for whom books always were magical things. I have been writing stories since I was a child; I left medical school because I was writing poems in biology class. When my family says it is “not just hormonal”, I suspect they are saying that this malaise that makes me “not myself” has something to do with my being a writer.

Now, the doctor as

These insurgents have been trying to capture this town for a while now. There are reports of a fresh attack on the city of Maiduguri, in Borno by Boko Haram militants. According to reports, armed men stormed the city in the early hours of today, trying to enter Maiduguri through a suburb community called Dalwa. Loud gun fire is being heard on the streets of the northern city as many residents flee.

Al Jazeera's Ahmed Idriss, said people were fleeing the south, but also moving into Maiduguri from the surrounding areas, fearing fresh attacks from other directions.
"The fighting started at about 2:00am. The military also says it is deploying large numbers of troops to the north of the city as this could be a ploy or diversion by Boko Haram," Idriss said
Idriss added the attack could be an attempt by the group to "prove a point" following recent successes by multinational forces fighting Boko Haram in Chad and Cameroon

John Legend and his wife Chrissy Teigen and Kim and Kanye went on a double date at the Waffle House after an event and you can see the difference in body language. Kanye, always frowning..lol. See more photos after the cut..

Manuel Pellegrini had the Spaniard to thank for pulling his side back into it after cancelling out Loic Remy's opener as Frank Lampard made an emotional return to Stamford Bridge




Champions Manchester City failed to make inroads into Chelsea's five-point lead as the Premier League's top two shared an absorbing 1-1 draw.

Jose Mourinho continued his tempestuous relationship with the media by shunning a pre-match interview with Sky Sports – apparently angered by both a £25,000 fine for comments about referees and Diego Costa's retrospective ban for a stamp on Emre Can during the League Cup semi-final second leg this week.

That indiscretion earned the Spain striker a three-match suspension, but the man to benefit from Costa's absence - recalled striker Loic Remy - took centre stage at Stamford Bridge on Saturday.

He gave the hosts a 41st-minute lead, before a rare mistake from Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois allowed David Silva to equalise in the final minute of the first half.

Although Manuel Pellegrini's team controlled much of the second period, their winless league run extended to three matches.

City overhauled deficits in late runs to the Premier League crown in 2012 and 2014, and a similar effort may now be required, as Mourinho’s men remain in the driving seat with 15 games remaining.

Aside from Costa's absence, Ramires came into the Chelsea midfield as Cesc Fabregas missed out with hamstring injury, while Bacary Sagna was a surprise inclusion at right-back ahead of Pablo Zabaleta for Manchester City.

The visitors started sharply, as Courtois beat away a stinging shot from Jesus Navas inside the first 20 seconds and Fernandinho had a low, angled drive deflected wide.

James Milner was alert to disposes Chelsea right-back Branislav Ivanovic in the 24th minute and play the ball into Sergio Aguero, but Kurt Zouma forced City's top scorer to shoot from an acute angle and Courtois saved comfortably.

Courtois' opposite number, Joe Hart, made his first save of the match from an Oscar effort after an error by Vincent Kompany let Remy escape down the left flank.

John Terry then joined fellow captain Kompany in having an error go unpunished - Aguero pulling a shot wastefully wide after the former England man had missed his kick from a 32nd-minute punt down field.

That was a chance the Argentina striker would regret 10 minutes later, as Eden Hazard brilliantly steered Ivanovic's flighted pass back across goal for Remy to convert.

City's response was immediate, as Courtois fumbled a searching Navas cross, Aguero smashed the loose ball back towards goal and Silva prodded home.

Frank Lampard enjoyed warm applause on his return to Stamford Bridge while warming up with the City substitutes, as his colleagues on the field enjoyed an encouraging start the second half.

Silva and Navas combined on the right flank for Fernandinho to plant a header into the turf - Courtois turning the bouncing ball over.

Milner then looped a headed attempt onto the roof of the net, the impressive Navas again supplying the ammunition, and City's control increased as Chelsea's midweek League Cup exertions began to tell.

Lampard finally made a 76th-minute introduction as City attempted a late assault.

However, with Mourinho increasingly animated on the touchline, his side displayed steely resilience in keeping with their manager’s siege mentality, as they closed out what could prove a vital point in the title race.

22:06 WAT
RECAP - CITY TO BEAT UNITED FOR PEPE


The Daily Express believes Manchester City are set to pip local rivals United to Real Madrid defender Pepe, after learning that the defender could leave the Bernabeu this summer. Pepe has seen his first-team opportunities limited in 2014-15 by the emergence of Raphael Varane.


21:52 WAT
RECAP - KOEMAN IN DOUBLE SWOOP


The Daily Star also reported that Southampton boss Ronald Koeman is keen to sign midfielder Tonny Vilhena from Feyenoord for £4m and Filip Djuricic on loan from Benfica. The Saints boss has confirmed his interest in both players ahead of the transfer deadline.


21:30 WAT
RECAP - MAN UNITED TARGET DRAGOVIC IN INTER TALKS


The Daily Star reported last night that Manchester United target Aleksandar Dragovic is in talks with Inter. The Dynamo Kiev defender has attracted interest from Louis van Gaal's side but is now closing in on a move to Serie A.


21:17 WAT
RECAP - ROMA EYE SOLDADO AND ADEBAYOR


Roma are eyeing a move for either Roberto Soldado or Emmanuel Adebayor as they seek to replace Mattia Destro who has left for AC Milan, the Evening Standard are reporting.



20:58 WAT
RECAP - PALACE CONFIRM SOUARE CAPTURE


Last night the Eagles' chairman announced the club have brought in the Lille defender who follows YayaSanogo, Shola Amoebi and Jordon Mutch in making the move to Selhurst Park in recent days. Steve Parish confirmed the news on Twitter, posting the message: "Delighted that @papesouare has just this minute signed for #cpfc . A warm welcome from all of us."


20:27 WAT
RECAP - DONE DEAL


We have actually had concrete some transfer news today with Seydou Doumbia completing his move from CSKA Moscow to Roma. The 27-year-old attacker, who had already revealed that he was close to joining the Serie A side and was looking forward to playing alongside Francesco Totti, completed the move on Saturday after spending five years at CSKA. The Cote d'Ivoire international moves for an undisclosed fee and replaces Mattia Destro, who left the Stadio Olimpico to join AC Milan on an initial loan deal.