Good sex impacts couples’ total wellbeing

The way you express your sexuality is shaped by your acquisition of relevant knowledge and also by your individuality and your personal circumstances.

Whether you’re newlyweds or in a long time marital relationship, sexually challenged or able-bodied, young or old couples, think of your sexuality as a unique part of who you are. As the saying goes, fine wine and classic cars improve with age, so also let your sexuality and marriage relationship improve as the days go by. There are many “right” ways to experience great sex; today, we shall be looking into how to keep the sexual love life healthy and hot for years to come.

When able-bodied men noticed that their erection is different from what it used to be or is not as hard and does not last as long, coupled with the fact that the experience of ejaculation may not feel as strong as it used to, they are quick to associate virility with youthfulness. But I have found out that this may be due, in part, to just the weakening of the pelvic-floor muscles. Pelvic-floor muscles are responsible for drawing blood to the genitals during sexual activity, affecting erection and orgasm. And all that is needed is just a daily regime of Kegel exercise. The exercise actually fixes the problem up to 100 per cent regardless of age or prevailing circumstances.

Another common occurrence men of all ages notice at one time or the other is the experience of a longer refractory period; this is the time it takes the body to be ready for another erection after the first ejaculation, the period between the first and the next ejaculation. In some cases, the cooling off period may be as long as 12 to 24 hours or more or never. If you’ve climaxed, but you or your wife isn’t ready for the sexual experience to end just yet, the best approach is to focus on meeting your wife’s needs or on activities that don’t require an immediate erection. For example, you don’t need an erection for giving your wife an oral sex or manually stimulating her clitoris or sucking her breast or giving her a heavy foreplay that leaves her panting and wanting more. The magic of this is, it helps you to forget about your present predicament and refocus your attention on some other thing. This will spontaneously give an unexpected strong magical erection.

However, remember that whatever you do, don’t get stressed worrying about your virility. This is a sudden occurrence that comes once in a while and not a sign that you’re losing your touch. And you will likely find that the different sexual activities you engage in without an erection are still very pleasurable for you and your wife. Just be sure to reassure your wife that the longer time between your erections is not a reflection of how you feel about her. One of the best ways you can take control of this occasional occurrence is to press the end of your penis into her clitoral head while you are thrusting in and out. Make sure you linger in her vaginal entrance, where the most sensitive nerve endings are. So instead of deep ‘gbam’ ‘gbam’ thrusting, just focus on small, shallow thrusting movements that penetrate the first two to three inches of her vagina. This will not only help you to master the ejaculation but will trigger your wife’s arousal even if she has 3rd degree female genital mutilation [circumcision] and she will be 90 per cent of the time have a good orgasm. The trick here is when you help her have an orgasm first, it relieves you of some of the pressure to perform and the psychological anxiety that feeds into premature ejaculation. Wave off an early emission with some extra attention to her arousal because many husbands by this last much longer the second time around. And the more you practise, the longer that first time will last.

One best thing that helps this is to make your wife stay on top always. When she’s on top, your penis is less stimulated, then ask her to go slowly and slowly; long and fast thrusting is hazardous to a man’s endurance. This is because the area